When I finish clearing my room for you, we will buy many drinks and many flu medicine and die.
I refuse to walk into the church. I am afraid of the words, the words that wrap around my naked skin like a steel chain, so cold and rough. It was too harsh, everything about that place.
Once upon a time, I gave all of me to God. Then everything crashed.
He left, she was like a dead soul loitering in this cruel world. I wanted to protect her… so much. I killed my emotions for her, I faced this evil world, I wanted to carry her cross but it didn’t helped. The moment she said,” I am so sad now, because no one understand how I feel, I am lonely.” All she ever wanted was you
I wanted very much to tell her, ” So was I, “ but I didn’t. I sat on the chair you used to sit. I carried up everything you refused to, all the things you dumped and left- me, her and everything we had. I was a kid I didn’t want the chair, I didn’t need it. All I ever wanted was a family like other, but what was the point of admiring, I keep admiring and that is all I do. I keep pleasing people but no matter who I please, they are unable to please me. I was so sad. All I want to do was to walk backwards, fix it all.
I miss the time I giggle when you kissed her on her neck and french her. It was love wasn’t it? Please tell me it was love. Tell me I was made of love and not a mistake you both regretted so much.
Maybe I ruined your life but you ruined mine. More than you think you did. I was a simple girl.
Hey anyone there? I am in a mess again.
When I was fresh and naive,
a beautiful woman asked me for a dance.
I took her hand. She move her body like the swaying leaves and
she sing her words like the dancing birds, so
free, it makes a young girl go
wild.I have not asked for this dance,
but her music found it’s way to my heart
I have not asked for the words,
but the woman fed me her sweet nothings.
Now I am going crazy, because the woman let go of my hand and ran.
I did not want another gruelling wait, so I chased.
My exsistence never go beyond the four brick walls of my home.
I was frightened to go out but I chased after her anyway.
I needed her company badly, I needed her eros in me.
I needed her to dance with me again.
I am terrified at the thought of filling up her empty space within me.
I don’t want to be alone in the cold breeze.
So I kept chasing her in the woods, trees after trees.
I tried to reach out to her with my one last breathe, but
I tripped and she continued running anyway.
I watch her shadow growing hazier and hazier in the woods.
She is gone now.
I do not know my way home. I lie flat and thought,
So this is what it’s like to be lost in the woods, the woods…
so lovely, dark and deep.
I buried our last dance in the woods, the woods…
so lovely, dark and deep.
Wishing someone comes to my rescue
but none came, so I circled around this ghost town
till I see the light and hear the horns.
With much relief I said,
“Hey angel, you finally came.